Serenity

Last night, I finally felt something I have not felt in a long time. I don't even think there is just ONE word to describe it. It was peace. Comfort. Sometimes there are people who can make you smile, ease the loneliness. But sometimes all it really takes is one person to get you through, providing that safe haven where you can say or do anything. I had that last night. But I realized in a moment, nothing really has to be said, a touch can say more than a million words ever could. I feel so relieved I could cry- I was happier for one night than I had been in months.

But left again with a sort of emptiness.
Here is to another night...perhaps not quite as comforting as the last.

Love and beauty

"I almost wish we were butterflies and liv'd but three summer days- three such days with you i could fill with More delight than fifty common years could ever contain."

John Keats, i could not stop reading Keats' poetry last night. His words disappear from the page and drift above me. It prompted me to go rent the movie bright star...again. When i am reading Keats i can disappear into another world completely as if nothing but his words exist.

I am amazed by the existence of love and beauty...beauty in love. So much is contained in those two words, i can't begin to explain their value.

Circles

I guess i truly realized this week that in fact the earth really must be round. Why? Well, to start i am constantly running in circles, tilted to the side- making a great attempt at balancing. I tried buying new shoes...I think it helped. At the moment i am sitting in this eerily quiet, seemingly dead library but i can't help but smile. We all have our up days and down days. No matter what the day, rain or shine though we must put on our best, most fashionable pair of shoes (i prefer boots) and keep running. A fabulously upbeat playlist helps. I just have to remind myself to not run too far ahead or I might fall off the edge!

"Today i had a conversation with my true self. She asked me why I had abandoned her, why I had ignored all her constant advice. And then she reminded me of all the things I had forgotten. And never once did she say 'I told you so'"

Tonight...writing and wine

~L

Just a globe on a string

I can't help but thinking about an introduction on Shakespeare I read. It was talking about how we are all just on this globe, hanging there amongst everything else in the universe (in reference to his globe theatre). So many instances in this world leave us hanging in the midst of so many things. When do we cut the string to begin our free fall into the unknown? Is that even possible?

Here I sit. I am hanging by this thread. Just waiting for that string to break.

Haunted

The first week of school was wonderful! I love, love all of my classes!! I am so excited to be engaging with other students and completing school work...interesting I know. While this week has been exciting, it has also been completely exhausting. Is it all the excitement? The adjustment of dealing with solely a baby and suddenly I am stimulated by horribly busy days and friends? I don't know...I can't pin point it but the haunting dreams each night do not help my restlessness.

I have done so much writing and so much reflecting since starting school again. In class I was able to answer the question of how writing will fit into my future. Of course this is something that i have thought about but never TRULY thought about. I made a list of how I want writing to play a role in my future. This led me to a thought about a future that is creeping up on me quicker than I can think. I couldn't run fast enough (though my fierce kick boxing skills I am learning may help)! What do I want to do? Where should I go? All these questions linger. There are no strings tying me down to any action I take.

In sleep, I may be haunted, but I think I can still escape.

Coco

"As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!"
~Coco Chanel