Going down in this up world

Gone
"When you leave, everything will remind me of you.
When you’re gone, the smell of your cologne will continue to be the scent lying in the air.
When you’re gone everything that enters my mouth will remind me of the kisses we shared.
When you’re gone, every little object I pass by will posses me with memories we’ve left behind.
When you’re gone, every cut, bump, and bruise will torture me, like the pain you left behind.
When you’re gone, I hope you’ll realize how you broke my heart."


Some may think this is far from poetry, those are the ones that can't put their heart into it, to feel and write and mean something when they feel like talking.

The weekend is here-dreaded. The days drone on, but the nights are worst- not sleeping, thinking, reading, writing, preparing for another day. Thank god this week is over, what better way to end it than by escaping this town. I am walking up a down escalator.

I am being brought back to previous months that I think i lived. Each day i feel disconnected from myself and separating dream and reality is not often easy. I have come full circle- fake it to make it. I am thinking of negative capability right now. A process of emptying out, just to fill up again. With what, I am not quite sure. I indulge with friends then feel the guilt that follows. It's not even indulging, it's living. In a world of expectations, I finally stopped caring.

I keep running and then i stop. I realize, i always hated running. I never was any good at it.